Title: Cara's Army
Fandom: Legend of the Seeker
Length: ~300
Rating: PG
Characters: Cara, Kahlan, Richard, Zedd (slight Cara/Kahlan)
Spoilers: None. It's total crack.
Summary: Cara's had enough of this nonsense, and she's taking things into her own hands.
Notes: Written for
legendland 's crackfic contest. If you want to blame someone, blame Leo for being cracktastic enough in canon to inspire this.
"Let's get this straight," Cara said and raised one hand. "All of you. Are idiots. Of some kind or another. Some worse, some"—and here she glanced at Kahlan—"better."
Richard and Kahlan nodded in sync. It was disgusting. Zedd was staring at a tree.
"Wizard!" His eyes rolled back towards her, like dull marbles. "So," Cara continued, hands on her hips, "I am declaring myself supreme ruler of the world, and I will challenge the Keeper. And I will win. Any questions?"
"Does that mean that Kahlan and I can be together?" Richard blinked wheedlingly.
Cara pursed her lips. "Kahlan?"
Kahlan frowned. "But you're my girlfriend."
"Excellent use of brains, Kahlan," Cara said, waving her hand approvingly.
Kahlan's grin lit up the scene, and had Richard smiling back even though he didn't understand a word.
"What about Darken Rahl?" Zedd asked slowly, face a mass of frowning wrinkles.
Cara smiled slowly. "I am prepared. Baneling!Leo offered to help me as a penance for all the people he has to kill." Cara snapped her fingers. "Mord'Chipmunks?"
The sudden bustle in the trees had the three humans glancing upwards so fast that they were likely to get whiplash. The squeaks of preparation almost drowned out the even-higher pitched wailing of the chipmunks' agiels. A hundred of them stood (squatted, really) at the ready.
Cara smirked. "Kahlan, would you care to be by my side when we march to the Underworld?"
After a brief glance at the rodent army, Kahlan nodded, and stepped forward.
"Forward!" Pointing her own agiel in the proper direction, Cara took the first stride towards her unstoppable victory. Let the Keeper and Darken Rahl hear the approaching cavalcade of squealing enemies and let them quiver; the chipmunks' spirits were stalwart indeed, and with Cara at their command, nothing could stop them now.
Fandom: Legend of the Seeker
Length: ~300
Rating: PG
Characters: Cara, Kahlan, Richard, Zedd (slight Cara/Kahlan)
Spoilers: None. It's total crack.
Summary: Cara's had enough of this nonsense, and she's taking things into her own hands.
Notes: Written for
legendland 's crackfic contest. If you want to blame someone, blame Leo for being cracktastic enough in canon to inspire this."Let's get this straight," Cara said and raised one hand. "All of you. Are idiots. Of some kind or another. Some worse, some"—and here she glanced at Kahlan—"better."
Richard and Kahlan nodded in sync. It was disgusting. Zedd was staring at a tree.
"Wizard!" His eyes rolled back towards her, like dull marbles. "So," Cara continued, hands on her hips, "I am declaring myself supreme ruler of the world, and I will challenge the Keeper. And I will win. Any questions?"
"Does that mean that Kahlan and I can be together?" Richard blinked wheedlingly.
Cara pursed her lips. "Kahlan?"
Kahlan frowned. "But you're my girlfriend."
"Excellent use of brains, Kahlan," Cara said, waving her hand approvingly.
Kahlan's grin lit up the scene, and had Richard smiling back even though he didn't understand a word.
"What about Darken Rahl?" Zedd asked slowly, face a mass of frowning wrinkles.
Cara smiled slowly. "I am prepared. Baneling!Leo offered to help me as a penance for all the people he has to kill." Cara snapped her fingers. "Mord'Chipmunks?"
The sudden bustle in the trees had the three humans glancing upwards so fast that they were likely to get whiplash. The squeaks of preparation almost drowned out the even-higher pitched wailing of the chipmunks' agiels. A hundred of them stood (squatted, really) at the ready.
Cara smirked. "Kahlan, would you care to be by my side when we march to the Underworld?"
After a brief glance at the rodent army, Kahlan nodded, and stepped forward.
"Forward!" Pointing her own agiel in the proper direction, Cara took the first stride towards her unstoppable victory. Let the Keeper and Darken Rahl hear the approaching cavalcade of squealing enemies and let them quiver; the chipmunks' spirits were stalwart indeed, and with Cara at their command, nothing could stop them now.
15 comments | Leave a comment